My Kids: They have germs. Deal with it.

As I mentioned in my previous entry, I am known to sign my kids up for a multitude of unnecessary and sanity-testing extracurricular activities every season because I am a masochist and NOT and introvert after all, despite what Buzzfeed personality quizzes keep telling me. The other day I was at baby music class with my 15 month old munchkin, who is basically a terror and a feral child as of late. It was a bonanza of FTPs, all with babies a few months younger than my son. Several of these new moms had blankets laid out on the floor for their precious little ones to roll around on; one mom with a full-on picnic blanket spread out for both her and her sweet angel to sit, lest either of them touch the dirty synagogue rug. Hand sanitizer was being squirted left and right. When instrument time was over, one young mom asked the instructor how frequently the materials were washed, and if the cleaning product used to sterilize the shaker eggs was "dishwasher quality". I laughed audibly at that one. I might have even made a scene, but the first time moms were so busy talking about cloth diapers or whatever that they didn't notice me...or my snot nosed son gumming up his tambourine next to them.

I get it. Having sick kids sucks. There is nothing worse than waking up at 4am to the sound of toddler vomit splattering over the side of the crib. No one likes to get a call from the school nurse saying you need to pick your kid up because of some dumb low grade fever or lingering cough that they've had for three weeks, but sounds like tuberculosis. My husband was away on a business trip in November. Within those three days, all four kids threw up and two were diagnosed with pneumonia. After that week, I don't fear sickness anymore. Bring it on, cold and flu season!

Years ago, a mom's group acquaintance of mine remarked about how my kids are "always sick". "Stay away from that family," she'd warn, "every time my kids get sick, it's because of THEM". I remember feeling taken aback by that comment at the time, but I think what my playgroup pal meant to say was I let my kids get sick, while she takes frantic measures to keep hers sequestered. I am not afraid of germs. I let my kids eat food off of the floor and roll around in the mud on cold days and put toys in their mouths at the library. I don't think I've ever used a changing pad on a public changing table after my first kid, and I've never told them not to sit on a public toilet. Do you know why? BECAUSE KIDS GET SICK ANYWAY. Because they go to school. And the store. And their fingers are literally always up their noses. The minute you send the little snot nosed rugrats out into the world, they'll bring home every strain of virus that exists. It's a losing battle, guys. And by the time you are on your third and fourth kid, you'll realize the only thing you can do to tame the germ warfare is to make them wash their hands and hope for the best. With that said, I assure you I'm not one of THOSE moms who send her kids to school  or play group when I know they are sick, but since we are the most contagious before we're symptomatic, there is really no way to "protect" ourselves and others from germs.

curious baby+ airplane floor = week of illness for six family members.

What to do then? Embrace it! In our family, we have a tradition in March: we all throw up. Yup, every year since our first kid was a baby in 2008, we've caught some sort of stomach bug in early Spring. This year, I really wanted to buy new living room couches. My husband advised me to wait until puking season was over, and gosh darnit, he was right, because right on schedule I found myself searching for the pink buckets in the middle of the night once more. (Note to new moms: NEVER leave the hospital without the pink emesis basin...or the mesh underwear. It really comes in handy).

So the next time you are at library time or playgroup or the baby gym and you see a toddler with a runny nose dripping snot over all the toys, you should thank that awesome mom for two reasons. 1) because she's probably in the #fourkidsclub and stopped caring about what people like you think, and 2) because she is giving your child the best gift of all....antibodies!

Happy Spring! Open up those windows!